joy through suffering

"And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." (Matthew 10:30-31)

Isn't it crazy to think God knows EVERYTHING? He knows how many stars there are in the sky, He knows how many times I eat at Newk's in a year (which could be embarrassing), He knows what and where I'll be doing in 3 years, He knows so much more than I could fathom. Isn't it even crazier to think He knows we will make wrong decisions but He still chooses to love us? And He still chooses to use us in His mighty plan? I love the word 'choose'. Especially when it is used with the Lord. Choose means to want or desire. God, creator of the Heavens and the earth, chooses, desires, wants us! I will never understand that nor do I want to understand. But I am thankful nonetheless. 

My Sunday school class has been discussing free will vs. God's will. It hit a special and tender part of me because I have been dealing with wanting to follow Jesus with all of me. Being called to the mission field and how to go about that. Because the Lord loves us beyond our human brains can understand, He gave us free will. He gave Adam and Eve free will in the garden. He made it difficult for them to eat from the tree of good and evil. Genesis 2:9 says God created all sorts of trees that were beautiful and produced delicious fruit. Just like in our everyday lives, Satan takes advantage of the free will we are given. And God knows when Satan will trip us up. He knows when we will be disobedient. Satan uses God's plan as a trick almost (Genesis 3:5). He makes something sound sweet. He sweetens up the sin to cover it up so it doesn't even look like sin. This is when we have to dig deep and know God is there. He is right here with us. Always. We have to open our eyes to the dirty and filth Satan is sweetening up. I believe when we are giving up things we normally wouldn't, sacrificing things that are important to us, we are in God's will. When we are in God's will, our free will should turn into His will. Sometimes, I have to remind myself, His will isn't always going to be cherries and gumdrops. I'm going to hurt. I'm going to question. I'm going to wonder why. Jesus even asked God to take this cup of suffering away when He was going to the cross. But Jesus desired God's plan be fulfilled more than anything (Luke 22:42). His plan required suffering. 

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28). God brings joy and purpose out of suffering. I cling to this in this season of my life. Not knowing where God will take me but just trusting great joy will come out of it. Knowing He is always right here beside me gives me the greatest peace I will ever know. Nothing compares. I will always follow Him. There is nothing holding me back. 

Please be in prayer for Life is Hope orphanage in Port Au Prince, Haiti. They have filled my thoughts since I left them. 

seven

Oh my goodness. I have a blog. My very first blog. I am ecstatic for some reason I don't know because I'm not sure of anyone who will actually read this. But I love reading others blogs so I thought, why don't I have one of my own? I love journaling. It's one of my favorite parts of the day. To sit in my bed, grab a pen, grab my bible, and just write what God is doing in my life or what He did in my day. So here it is. He is good and He receives all the glory!

I started reading 7: an experimental mutiny against excess by Jen Hatmaker a few days ago. I. Love. It. Hatmaker feels 'trapped in the machine of excess' and made a choice to fight against the diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence. For seven months, she takes seven areas and reduces it to seven choices. Food, clothes, possessions, media, waste, spending, and stress. I am taking on the challenge. I took a mission trip to Port Au Prince, Haiti less than a month ago. That changed my life forever. I came back overwhelmed of how much Americans have and they continue to have more. It broke my heart, not for the Haitians that I became friends with, but for Americans because we have so many distractions keeping our attention away from our Lord. Seven was the answer to my overwhelmed heart. Yesterday I started month one: food. 

• Chicken
• Rice
• Beans
• Pineapple
• Whole wheat bread
• Peanut butter
• Bananas

I cut out sodas and coffee for the month too. I believe coffee will be my biggest issue. This summer, I've been babysitting a 10 year old and today I experienced the no coffee issue. It was almost like I couldn't function without yawning every minute. But other than that, I've been fine. No cravings for a cookie or hamburger. Actually, now that I think of that, I want it. Uh oh. 

I love the parable of Jesus being tempted in Matthew 4. Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. He was led into trouble. This was a testing of His faith. Jesus was hungry! He had not eaten in forty days for crying out loud! We are complaining if we forgot to eat lunch. But because Jesus is so awesome and perfect, He didn't fall into the trap. "But Jesus told him, 'No! The Scriptures say, 'People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" (Matthew 4:4). Did the devil stop there? No. He continued to tempt Him. But Jesus kept on telling him what Scriptures say. I pray that I can do that. When things come my way, I can say, "This is what my God says". 

"For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow." (James 1:3)