called me higher

It happened. 

Wednesday morning, I was in my morning routine of quiet time with the Lord, journaling my thoughts, and just thinking of how much I wanted to eat on Thanksgiving when I got.....the call. Praying Pelican Missions called me to say what I've been feeling since the summer. I am now a PPM staff member summer intern. Most likely in the country of Haiti but we'll see. 

God is good. All the time. I've been learning more and more these days that when God gives you a burden or calling on your heart, listen to it. I guarantee it's for a purpose. His purpose. He is leading you to a higher place. Somewhere you can't get on your own. Somewhere where you have to lean fully on Him. It's for His amazing plan He has if we are willing to follow His will above ours, obey, and trust. 

I am beyond excited. I am also terrified. It's scary. I think it's suppose to be scary though. Otherwise, I would be relying on my strengths and not His. If it wasn't scary, I wouldn't need to take a giant step of faith. I will continue to trust Him to guide and direct me. He is all I need. 

Thank you for your prayers. 

I will stop on this note because I just might go on and on. Romans 8:29-30 says, "For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory."

Called Me Higher by All Sons & Daughters

I could just sit

I could just sit and wait for all your goodness

Hope to feel your presence

And I could just stay

I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel you

Hope to feel something again

And I could hold on

I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside

And I could be safe

I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home

Never let these walls down

But you have called me higher

You have called me deeper

And I will go where you will lead me Lord

You have called me higher

You have called me deeper

And I will go where you lead me Lord

Where you lead me

Where you lead me Lord

And I will be Yours

I will be Yours for all my life

So let Your mercy light the path before me

Isaac and Rebekah

"Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

"Jesus replied to them, 'Have faith in God. I assure you: If anyone says to this mountain, 'Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, all the things you pray and ask for-believe that you have received them, and you will have them.'" Mark 11:22-24

I think we should take prayer seriously. I know I have been guilty of telling someone, "I'm gonna pray for you" and not or falling asleep at night saying a prayer. There is POWER in prayer! P-O-W-E-R! Should we look up the definition of power? I think so. Did you see that? The ability to act or to produce an effect. Prayer is powerful but we also see effects through it. Prayer is not to be used a wish list for things we want but just so God can hear our hearts. Of course, He already knows our heart. You know how you can tell if your friend or your parents are mad but they want say it? It gets on your nerves if they keep hiding their emotions but it's obvious they are mad. I think that relates to God and us. He knows. But He still desires for us to come to Him. "Come to Me all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). He wants to hear what we think about and to ask for His will to be done. 

Genesis 24 is great. It's the story of how Isaac and Rebekah meet. Isaac just lost his mother, Sarah. He is mourning, heartbroken, and in pain. Abraham, Isaac's father, sends his servant to find a wife for Isaac because I guess it's that time in a young man's life back then. Abraham gave specific instructions and that made his servant nervous that maybe he wouldn't find the right woman. (It would make me nervous, fo sho). But he swore an oath that he would bring Isaac a wife. He began his journey and he found a water well where he stopped to check out some ladies. He began to pray as he was checking them out. "O Lord, give me success today and show unfailing love to my master, Abraham..." (Gen. 24:12) Before he was finished praying, Rebekah appeared with her water jug. Now how stinkin' cool is that?! Can I get an amen? Then servant went over to chat with her and before you know it, he found a wife for Isaac. God led him to that particular well for a purpose. God heard his prayer and sent Rebekah. "The Lord has made my mission successful.." (Gen. 24:56) They return to Abraham and Isaac. Isaac is found meditating trying to find some kind of peace about his mother's death. Then he sees Rebekah...talk about love at first sight. Or as I like to say, an answer to a cry. "Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah and took Rebekah to be his wife. Isaac loved her, and he was comforted after his mother's death" (Gen. 24:67). She was Isaac's comfort. Can I get another amen?

This story compels me. The servant prayed and spotted Rebekah. Isaac prayed and found comfort. Prayer is important. It's not wishes we get from our genie if we rub our bottle correctly. It's much much more greater than that. It's finding solutions to something hard. It's finding strength amongst something painful. It's seeing good in something terrible. It's experiencing the Lord's faithfulness everyday. 

My call is to pray. All day. Errday. 

pray with me

"You know what I am going to say 

even before I say it, Lord. 

You go before me and follow me.

You place your hand of blessing on 

my head."

Psalm 139:4-5

I read this over and over today at 12:00 in the afternoon knowing I had an interview with Praying Pelican Missions over the phone at 1:00 pm. I applied for their summer college internship in one of their host countries in which I would be apart of a 3-6 leadership team leading mission trips. Responsibilities could include lining up ministry opportunities and ministry sites, restaurants, recreation, and transportation. It could also include preparing breakfast and snacks, leading worship and debriefing, participating in meetings, and generally guiding each church’s trip. The goal is to use each team member’s strengths and interests to best serve the churches and groups. 

I prayed for God to give me words and to calm my heart. I prayed that I would trust that this is in His hands and He has already gone before me. I prayed that He would assure me that this burden on my heart for missions is from Him and not from me. I prayed He would be glorified through my words and His light would shine through me. 

I am confident in my answers. I am confident that God will use me whether I am accepted or not. I would be lying if I said I wasn't anxious to hear that I will certainly be leading teams and serving in Haiti next summer. 

Can I ask you to pray with me? Pray for my patience and strength until my next phone call from PPM. Pray for my friend, Caroline, who is also waiting on this call. Pray for clarity that this is God's will. Pray that God would continue to stir up this need on my heart. Pray that I trust Him to completely take care of me.

little red shoes

I have these cute, little red shoes. They are my favorite pair of shoes I own. I don't know why because they aren't very special. I think I paid $3 for them at Dirt Cheap. I can wear my dull outfits and put these shoes on and they just pop. The only thing about them is they hurt my feet. They're painful to wear because they scrap the side of my foot leaving scars. But I bear the pain and wear them anyway because I just love them that much. 

Why on earth am I going on and on about a pair of shoes?

I am an analogy freak. That's why.

When I experience pain walking with the Lord, I will continue to put on the armor of God and bear the pain just because I love Him that much. Facing the difficult times is nothing compared to the joy I have in Him! Knowing Him and growing in relationship with Him is the greatest thing I'll ever know. So what hard times? Bring it. He has been through pain seeing His Son on the cross dying my death. Christ died a horrible, tragic, sinner's death. Who was that sinner? That was you and me. Therefore, I can handle abandoning my plans for His even though it may cause pain. I can handle the hard times that are teeny compared to what Christ did for me. He cares and said we'd never be alone. "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand" (Isaiah 41:10). So I will put on my little red shoes and deal with the pain because I love Him that much. 

"Our lives are in his hands, and he keeps our feet from stumbling." (Psalm 66:9)

When I arrived back to the States from Haiti 4 months ago, I immediately applied for a summer internship with Praying Pelican Missions. I knew I had yearning desire to be back in Haiti and a burden on my heart for missions. I finally have an interview next Tuesday over the phone with PPM. My beautiful best friend, Caroline, applied for the same position and has already had her interview. It would be great if we could do it together but I'm not expecting that. I want to do this but if God sees it fit, He will make it happen. If He doesn't, you know the rest. Please pray for guidance, words, patience, and strength. 

He is jealous for me

"Love is jealous....especially God's love. He wants me, and I want everybody else." 

These are the precious word's from Jennie Allen's book Anything. I encourage everybody to run to the Barnes & Noble or your library to pick up a copy and read it. Now. It's a beautiful story of a cute, happy, comfortable family that loves the Lord but does not suffer. She and her husband begin praying a prayer of anything. They will do anything to serve God in the way they need to. I won't give too much away because I want you to read it. I have been inspired to pray the same prayer. The first time I prayed, I knew I was sincere about it. I was ready for God to do anything in my life. The second time I prayed, I started thinking of all the anything's and it scared me. What if God did this? What if this happens? Will I take back this prayer for anything? Can I handle it? But I am assured that as a Christian, I will suffer whether I pray anything or not. For it is only through suffering, I am closer to Him. "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy" (James 1:2). I am anxious to see what God will do through anything. 

Let's get back the jealous love. 

This morning, I read from Hosea. God called his servant Hosea to marry a prostitute, Gomer. They had three children together and despite the loving, uplifting, and Godly qualities of Hosea, Gomer was unfaithful. She continued to go back to men that abused her and never loved her back. In the midst of all the disaster Gomer is causing, God says things like, "But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there" (Hos. 2:14). I think of my life and all the other loves I chase after instead of God. Appearance, money, acceptance, feelings... I am embarrassed of these. I get so caught up in trying to live a cute, happy life with a cute college degree, then marry a cute boy, buy a cute house, have cute kids, cute cute cute cute. This is the life I find myself chasing after. My God is jealous. He wants me and I want other things. He wants to use me and I want a cute, safe life. 

Every time I look at my sins and other loves, I feel like He is looking down on me in disgust because my heart is out of control. Instead, He sweeps in, loves me, and redirects me. God wins me back just like He wins Gomer back. He chases me down and lures me back in. While I am running after everything else, He is running to me. When I think of what I dream of, God is better. I want Him more. Everyday I want to be filled by His spirit even if He calls me to live a life of singleness. He is worth every bit of it. Take these feet, take these hands, take this heart. If He is for me..who could ever be against me?

"When that day comes," says the Lord, "you will call me 'my husband' instead of my 'my master'". (Hosea 2:16)

I am in love with this video and it relates to this. This should encourage every Godly woman out there that the Lord is enough.