keep calm and carry on

Anxious. 

I have an anxious heart today.  

"What's gonna happen this summer?" "What am I gonna do about next semester?" "Hello? God? Are You there?" 

It seems as if I'm always worried about something. And it seems I always come up with the same conclusion: Stop worrying for He has the world at the palm of His Hand. 

While that's so beyond true, I only say that. I don't trust. 

But right now it's different. See, this time I feel more of His peace guiding me. 

A motto I've grow attached to is 'keep calm and carry on'. It's something that comforted me while taking my first finals in college. Keep calm as your head runs wild with thoughts and theories of how a situation could play out. Carry on. Calm, my heart, be calm. 

The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you."

Psalm 32:8

Be still and know that I am God. 

Psalm 46:10

If that doesn't make me calm and continue to carry on then I've let my thoughts be in control. He, my Solid Rock, my All-in-All, will guide me. I've sketched out so many images of my life over the past few years. Over and over, God shows me He is the Artist and takes the pencil out of my hand. He has redirected my sketches, erased, and added all for a better picture that He has already created. To know God is sketching for us is stunning. 

No longer will I hog the pencil. I'll put away the sketch pad. No more planning, no more drawing. Just sitting, keeping calm, being still, enjoying the Hand of my Father, and carrying on. 

He makes all things beautiful.

Hillsong released yet another awesome album of praise to our God. One song in particular captured my heart and brings me into a beautiful time of worship with the Artist of my life. Listen and hear God talking to you and loving you through this. 

You call me out upon the waters // The great unknown where feet may fail // And there I find You in the mystery // In oceans deep // My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name // And keep my eyes above the waves // When oceans rise // My soul will rest in Your embrace // For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters // Your sovereign hand will be my guide // Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me // You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name // And keep my eyes above the waves // When oceans rise // My soul will rest in Your embrace // For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders // Let me walk upon the waters // Wherever You would call me // Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander // And my faith will be made stronger // In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name // Keep my eyes above the waves // My soul will rest in Your embrace // I am Yours and You are mine

thirteen days

13 days. 

Just 13 more days until I step foot onto a plane that will take me to Haiti. Just 13 more days until I walk into Life Is Hope orphanage. Just 13 more days until I hear the sound of sweet laughter and screams from little Haitian babies. Just 13 more days until I feel Jovincent wrapped in my arms and Ellie cornrowing my hair. Just 13 more days until I awake to the sound of chickens crowing and mosquitos buzzing in my ear. 

Oh how I can't stand the wait. 

13 days. 

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." 

Philippians 1:6

The last time I left Haiti, I left in a flood of emotions not knowing I would ever return to this place I had been mesmerized by. But He is finishing His work. Through my uncertainty, He will finish His work. Whether it requires another scared, shy girl or if it requires this scared, shy girl. Oh He will finish that work in the beautiful country of Haiti. 

Blessed beyond measures to be apart of His work this time and this summer. 

Bright and early Saturday morning, the team of 15 traveling to Haiti in thirteen days will be putting together suitcases of children's medicine, dental supplies, school supplies, and other necessities. We will share our fears, our excitements, our strengths, and our weaknesses. We will share why we felt the Lord calling us to give up a week in March to do His work in Haiti. We will be vulnerable and pour our hearts out to our team members in order to be just that: a team. A team with willing hearts to serve the Lord our God. Willing hearts allowing Him to perfectly break our hearts when we look into orphans eyes at Life Is Hope. Because He will do that. It will be so incredibly awesome and utterly devastating at the same time. The people going for the first time will never be the same. The returners will leave with an even more changed heart. 

This is our God. The Lord our God. 

I've already began packing my bag for the day I'll leave in 13 days. I pray my bag is always packed on this earth. I pray I am never comfortable where I am. I pray God will always tear down my walls and break my heart for what breaks His. This earth is not my home. What a glorious day it will be seeing God face to face. 

All my hopes, all I need is held in Your hands. All my life, all of me is held in Your hands. All my fears, all my dreams are held in Your hands. 

the gift in singleness

I wanted to make sure my readers didn't get the vibe that I was being whiny in my last post about Valentines day. I am not bitter about being single one bit. There was a time in high school when I hated being single. I saw all my friends with boyfriends and girlfriends when I didn't. I wondered if God had forgotten about me. Was I not pretty enough or skinny enough to have a boyfriend? I wanted to know what was wrong with me. Jealousy, anger, doubt aroused in my innermost being and I resented God. 

Through my maturity and my growth with Christ, I have realized that singleness is a gift. It may not feel like it at times (especially on Valentine's day) but it truly is! God heals us of sin that needs to be dealt with. We find who we are in God's sight. We learn about ourself everyday through our single season. We have a chance to think for ourself. We grow as an individual before we add another person to the walk.  

God created you. God sees you and He knows what makes your heart flutter. He knows the hairs on your head and He knows the desire you have implanted within you to be wanted. There is hope in your season of being single!

 Walk through this season knowing and trusting just that. I wish I could say that I am always hopeful in this time but I'm not. I am a human being that grows impatient and wanders. Those are the times that I run full force to God because I know He will hold me and love me the way I need. I am certain God is all I need wherever I am in this life. 

God is preparing me for my husband. That man will lead me the way Christ led the church and he will love God more than me. I will encourage him to be a man after God's own heart and I will make breakfast for him. But I will wait. And I will pray for him. Most importantly, I will trust God through every season. 

He is for you.

He sees you. 

Run into His arms and nestle yourself right into His chest. Think of your life as a ball of yarn. Pull out just a few inches…that’s your single season. Short. Oh so short compared to the rest. You can wait. In Him. And beloved, remember that our yarn goes to eternity. Our lives here on earth are very short. Soon, we will be with the Lover of our Souls, our Husband in Heaven, scarfing down food at the wedding feast. Soon we will be with our True Love. The One who pursued us, proposed to us on the cross and has given us His Holy Spirit as our engagement ring. He’s coming back. We don’t know when. But He is coming to get us. On a white horse, no less! 

love shmove

Today is February 13. Therefore tomorrow is that long awaited day for a beautiful night with a sweetie or a dreadful day for single ladies like myself. Otherwise known as Valentine's day! Woohoo. I am a bahumbug when it comes to this holiday. This is also coming from a girl who has never been in a relationship. Maybe when I finally find a cutie to celebrate it with, I'll appreciate it more. But until then, I'd rather say the word pimple. 

Ever since Disciple Now several weeks ago, I've been viewing the Bible in different perspectives. I've prayed for God to take my eyes and see His Word in a whole new way. He has done exactly that. A passage that I keep coming back to is in John 1. You know, in the beginning there was the Word and the Word was God. As I keep running into this passage, I stop. I think about it. I write it down in multiple versions. I look into the words. I try to picture someone actually writing this and thinking about it as intently as I am. 

"In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness can never extinguish it." 

John 1:1-5

Phew. What? 

That was my first reaction several times. 

Mind blown.

That was my reaction the next several times.

Jesus brought light to this dark world. He was God in the flesh. 

"So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father's one and only Son."

John 1:14

This is love. Love that came down to rescue a lost world. This is a love we had never known before. It was not an empty, emotional, romantic love. It was agape. This is a love that died to know who we are. A favorite worship leader, Kari Jobe, sings so beautifully, what love is this? That You gave Your life for me to make a way for me to know You? 

God's redeeming love is the greatest force we have. It moves us to move to a third world country to love the orphans. It moves us to surrender our lives to His will. It moves us to care for people who hate us. If you have experienced His love, it should make a drastic change in your life. 1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us that three things will last forever and love is the greatest. Knowing God's love, everything in life makes sense. Everything is bound together by Christ's perfect love for us. Living in the love of Christ is the only way we have meaning. The desire all human beings have to want to love and be loved is only found in knowing Christ because He is the definition of love. 

Forget the flowers. Forget the teddy bears. Forget the heart-shaped box candy. 

Let the love of Christ consistently flow through you. 

"We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters."

1 John 3:16