mustard seed faith

Am I ready?

I look back at journals from past weeks in Haiti with my church team. I sense the fear I had riding on the bus to settle into the lodging area. I can feel the atmosphere of Life Is Hope and Faith In Action with kids playing with girls hair, guys kicking a soccer ball around, and teams trying to learn a little bit of Creole. I feel the pure joy of looking at the Haitian mountains, knowing that I'm loved by the One Who created them. Even in Matthew 17:20, Jesus says, "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move". I wipe the tears from my eyes as I have to leave and say a million of good-byes to teams I served with from another state, translators, PPM staff, and the sweet kids. 

Am I ready for this? Am I ready for a longer time spent in Haiti, meeting more people, falling more in love with the country? 

I am ready. I know God isn't finished working in me. He clearly revealed that through my broken heart last summer when I had to depart from Haiti for the first time. I know that He will keep using me and using me as long I am open to it. As scary as it is to go, to obey, to leave, or to pour yourself out, He is always restoring, comforting, and mending. If God is for us, who can be against us? Honestly, when I look at the grand scheme of things, it all happens so fast. This life passes by so quickly. Therefore I am ready for anything God calls me to. 

Please be in prayer for me, Caroline, teams, Haitian staff, Praying Pelican staff, and everybody working together to serve our awesome God this summer in Haiti! It's exactly a week until I step onto a plane to Haiti and I'm a roller coaster of emotions. But most of all, ready to just be used up by the Lord this summer and for the rest of this life on earth. It's such joy to be apart of His will and growing His kingdom. 

oh my stars

I have been quite the blog slacker lately. Two and a half weeks may not be slacking at all but   I didn't even think to log on and describe my incredible training weekend in Minneapolis, MN! Before I start, thanks for all that have been reading and for your prayers. You have no idea how much I feel the love of others showering over me. 

The Friday morning my mom dropped Caroline and I off at the airport, I was full of nervousness, excitement, anxiety, all of the above. I was also full of comfy, warm clothes thinking it would be freezing in Minnesota. Something that I had been praying for was for God to carry us swiftly through the airports because I have this fear of being lost in an airport and missing the plane. Not even joking, we land in Atlanta, get off the plane, find our connecting flight, and the gate was just across from the gate we got off. If you don't believe God can work through just about anything, even making your travels easy and stress-free, there ya go. Proof He was right there with us through it all. 

As we land in Minnesota, you could clearly see snow on the ground. I was proud of myself for actually coming prepared for the weather. Usually, I just do what I think is best and it's never a smart decision. Well, I came prepared and it was not cold one bit. The Mississippians brought the warm weather with them. That's enough about the weather.

Oh my stars. I don't even know where to start how the weekend went. Everyone with PPM is ridiculously awesome and nice! I felt welcomed from the moment I walked into the hotel from the moment I walked out to leave. They are all obviously so in love with the Lord that they're willing to serve Him with everything they have. To be with people like that is the most encouraging thing I've experienced. I know without a doubt God used some people I met to calm my heart about the summer. It's crazy weird how when people are motivated by the same thing which is to glorify the Lord and make His name known all over the world, you feel like you've known these people forever. But in reality, you've only gotten to know them within 2 days. It brought the meaning of being the body of Christ to life for me. As we serve our Father, we are a huge family and we're all in this together. 

I am beyond blessed to have this opportunity. It's been amazing and hard going through this process of God bringing me to this point. I cannot doubt that God has brought me here for a purpose. Through all of this, I've realized not everyone will support me 100%. People will doubt me, will find every reason in the book for me not to go to Haiti this summer, or will tell me it's dangerous. To be honest, I've thought the same things. I have experienced running away from God's callings before. The more running I did, the more exhausted I became, and until the point I ran out of breath, I realized I couldn't keep running. It was miserable running for so long. Surrendering, completely surrendering, is scary. But I've found so much joy, so much peace, and abundant life. Even though sometimes I grow weary and unsure, I will never go back to running from God. Until the end of time, I will run full force to Him. It's a joy to know His arms will always be open. I will pray for the people who doubt and I want to help them understand I was once in their shoes. But I'll keep on buying plane tickets to foreign lands until I go Home. 

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.

Acts 20:24